May 04, 2006

The Dow at 6 year highs :)

Oil trumps Microsoft and Intel in helping the Dow (irrelevant in my book) reach 6 year highs today.

I imagine a mining company will soon be added here as Gold approaches $700 an ounce.

We could use another weapons company as well.

I think an Orthopedic company will soon be added and another FRUCTOSE and HYDROGENATED FAT company is a must.

Then the Dow will be something US investor's can be proud of:

I suggest a new Advertising Campaign (The video will be on You Tube shortly if Chartreuse can help me):

THE DOW - We proudly -

Drill and Mine the earth that our weapons have helped us secure;
Posion you with Chemicals and Tobacco;
Poison your computers with viruses;
If that doesnt get you we can get you with some ALESTRA and FRUCTOSE;
If you only get a headache - we have some Vioxx that will take the edge off.

Don't mind the Alestra - the diahrhea and anal leakage you read about is easily managed with 3M's and Proctor and Gamble's new and IMPROVED 8-ply toilet paper. It's almost worth the flood.

Old age - PLEASE - our band-aids and Orthopedic products from Johnson and Johnson will replace all ther parts that have fallen off over the years and Pfizer says that "LIMP is the new HARD".

Don't forget to buy all your Dow goodies on the New American Express "Plutonium Death Card".

Disclaimer - owning the Dow may cause cramps, explosions, nose bleeds, heart-attacks, clogged arteries, and an erection - OR it may fix them.

I could go on but it is just TOO easy. Here is the list - insert your own jokes .

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